Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Analog Style

Awesome things happen when I'm in Michigan. For example, babies are born! Specific babies, not random ones--although I suspect that happens, too; in this case, the baby in question is my niece. I also get to go shopping at legitimate malls, not crappy ones. (I'm looking in your direction, Cross Creek.) And in the course of visiting those malls, I almost always find at least one fabulous thing fit for blogging. This most recent trip was no exception.

While cruising Nordstrom, I happened upon their designer collections section, and lo and behold, what should I find but this fabulous--and soft to the touch--sheath from Ports 1961:

The picture really doesn't do it justice. In fact, I can say beyond a doubt that the fabric was much more vibrant than what you see here. At any rate, I tried it on--you know, for shits and giggles, because at $850.00, I can't afford it even with the help of a charge account. But it's okay: the credit gods must have been looking out for me, since the dress didn't fit. (I'm very sad to report that Ports only offers their line in sizes up to 12, whereas I wear a 14 on a good day.)

Not one to give up on an item I really adore, I decided that not only would I blog about it, but I would also make an effort to find a comparable dress at a reasonable price. But! Apparently there is no analog to be had, though not for lack of trying. I looked through literally thousands of dresses at websites for Zara, Target, Von Maur, Asos, MICHAEL Michael Kors, Ann Taylor, Talbots, White House Black Market, Anthropologie, and ModCloth before giving up (my search time was cutting into my homework time, or else I would have gladly continued.)

So then I thought, what the hell? I'll just write about the next dress I see that strikes my fancy. Unfortunately, the next dress happened to be this Michael Kors piece that costs, um, four times as much as the fancy Ports dress.

This is the kind of thing I can't even make up, kids. It'll set you back $3,495.00, presumably because the bodice is made of leather. I personally believe that the cost should be offset by the fact that the skirt is polyester, but maybe that's the difference between me and the people who set prices. At least it's a really beautiful dress, am I right?

Meanwhile, for those of you who were hoping for the affordable alternative promised earlier in this post, here's one that doesn't look anything like the Ports but should be serviceable and is reasonably classic from Talbots:

There's a lesson in all of this, though I'm not quite sure what it is. Perhaps it's that I shouldn't be allowed to go home. Maybe it's that I need to stop lusting after clothes that cost too much money. Or could it be that I need to spend less time searching for alternatives and more time doing my homework? The jury's still out.

Buy the Ports 1961 dress through Nordstrom for $850.00.

Buy the Michael Kors dress through his website for $3,495.00.

Buy the Talbots dress through Talbots for $139.00.

Images via Nordstrom, Michael Kors, and Talbots.


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